Too Much Cake is Bad, Mkay?
by Angel of Insania
Summary: The Guardians learned that messing with the two bosses was like messing with robot unicorns with lasers. This is CRACK! Complete and utter CRACK! Smoke it, inhale it, or use it in your cookies!
1. Gio and Tuna Are Cake High

The Guardians were afraid. No, _terrified_ was a better description.

Now what would make them and even Hibari the fierce skylark-chan quake in his suit of awesomeness?

Simple. Giotto the Primo Vongola and his Guardians had come to the present somehow. And Tsuna was currently in a very sadistic mood curtesy of the resulting chaos. What made it worse was that Mr. Awesomeness-in-a-pizza was feeling similar. And those two were smirking as they discussed something.

It was like watching the devil himself and his twin talking about all the ways to torture you. Even Mukuro was scared and he had literally been through hell and played with demons like they were fuzzy little kittens!

Okay, back to the two hot demon twins from planet Mafioso. They had finished their discussion and were sharing positively sadistic looks that would make a certain Spartan proud as they stared down the 1st and 10th Generation Guardians.

"Juu.. Juudaime?/Primo?" Asked two certain Octopuses. Or is it Octopi? Ah hell, whatever.

The fluffpuff of a Tunafish sighed while smirking. "Hmmmm, _whatever_ shall we do, Primo? The destruction our Guardians have caused is sure to cause a ton of paperwork..."

The usually calm (pronounced; _hyperactive on strawberry cake_) mafia don shook his head. "I don't know, Decimo. But maaaaybe~"

That was it. The Guardians ran. They knew that if the first and tenth Vongola bosses were plotting together, shit would hit the fan harder that an elephant tap-dancing on your spleen. Yes, it would be complete and utter hell. Especially since they had just both finished off an entire strawberry cake with rainbow sprinkles faster than you could say 'FGHSAHALA!'. Oh yes, this was going to be a _looong_ day for the poor, destruction personified, Guardians.

And so began the game of chase. One by one they went down. First was Deamon, screaming about watermelons and pineapples as he was taken away in the maw of a whale with wings. Then went G. Poor guy didn't know what to think when Godzilla decided that he would be the giant lizard's bride. Ryohei and Asari fell into a pit trap filled with gummy worms. Knuckles got tackled by a giant teddy bear, while Hibari was taken away by a giant eagle. Mukuro was surrounded by mystical mushrooms as they read him horrible poetry that made no sense (just like this story). Gokudera and Yamamoto were confronted by a large shark that could levitate and burp bomb bubbles. Finally, Alaude, Lambo, and Lampo got trapped in a tomato crate with some strange Italian guy with a giant curl on one side of his head. All the while, Chrome watched in secret amusement on the back of an overly large Mukurowl.

This taught the Guardians to never incur the wrath of their cake-high bosses. It was like dealing with rabid unicorns that had acquired laser beams.

* * *

**Zera: What the flying f*ck did I just write? I seriously don't know...**

**Oh, and uh... Large quantities of strawberry cake is bad, mkay? C:**


	2. Tuna-chan's Cake Wrath

Everyone was, once again, scared out of their minds. Even our dear, awesome Giotto. Why?

Simple.

Tsunayoshi was angry. Not just that little feeling of anger like when his Guardians decide to start a pie fight either. _Noooo_, he was **_pissed_**.

And a pissed off Tsuna wasn't good for anyone. Especially Clam leaders. That had eaten all the strawberry came in the mansion. And ruined his favorite relaxation spot.

Poor Giotto; he was going to die.

_Again_.

Tsuna's Guardians, however, were slightly relieved that their boss's anger wasn't directed at them. Sad to say, Gio-chan's Guardian's feelings were mutual. So the past and present Guardians watched as Mr. Awesomeness-in-a-Pizza was chased around by the Tuna Fluff-puff from hell. To say it was a comical sight was an understatement. After all, it's not everyday you see your boss and his identical-looking ancestor having a cartoon chase reminiscent of Tom and Jerry. With a large hammer eerily similar to a certain Spartan tutor's.

"Giotto! Get back here and pay for eating my cake!"yelled Tsuna as he swung the hammer and hit a statue of a unicorn. (Why it was there, the young boss had no idea)

Giotto ducked under the hammer of cake justice. "Calm down, my grandson!"

"_**Never!**_"

And so the two awesome carbon copies ran off into the sunset yelling profanities and being chased by Natsu the hyper lion who somehow grew wings.

"Hey, when did Juudaime's box animal grow wings?"

"Haha, Natsu probably drank Redbull."

"EXTREEEEEME!"

"Hn. At least the Omnivore wasn't mad at us."

"Bossu is scary. It's kinda funny."

"Kufufufu. Tsunayoshi's anger is amusing when not directed at us."


	3. The Tuna and the Vodka

Today, a certain Horse was visiting his little bro at the Vongola secret headquart- I mean mansion. Yes, that was what I meant.

Anyway, said horse was currently in a state of shock. And his thought process at this very moment can be simply explained as '_What. The. F***?!_'

What is the reason for this, you may ask?

Simple.

A certain Tunafish casually drinking tea while his Guardians- as well as the first Generation-were dancing the samba. Yes, even our dear skylark and his French double.

And there were dancing pineapples. _DANCING. PINEAPPLES_. And no, they aren't the pineapples you're thinking about, my dear people. They were _ACTUAL PINEAPPLES._ And they were fighting pomegranates in a dance battle.

"Ts-Tsuna... What the fu... I don't even..."

The young Tuna set down his tea and smiled pleasantly at Dino.

"Vodka is a miraculous thing, Dino-nii. A miraculous thing indeed."

Tsuna then proceeded to jump on his pet Sky Lion- who apparently drank another Redbull- and flew off to who-knows-where while screaming "WHO'S JEALOUS NOW, MARSHMELLOW BITCH?! I'VE GOT A FLYING KITTY!"

Needless to say, Dino fainted. And was promptly tied to a pole by two EXTREME people who then ran around yelling things that made no sense.

Just another day in the life of the Vongola.

* * *

**Zera: Fever is a miraculous thing. It makes me make no sense yet make sense at the same time while flying on a unicorn.**

**Raizel: ... I think you need to go rest. It seems your fever is burning up what little sanity you have left. **

**Zera: Hai, mommy. Zera shall go rest so she can get over this devil-sent thing called the cold. *salutes and flops onto bed***

**Layla: ... Should we be worried?**

**Zera: Heheheh, winged pineapples... KUFUFUFU NO FU! MUKURO USES PENGUIN RAVE PARTY! **

**Raizel/Layla: *sweatdrop* ...**


	4. Pineapples, Twilight, and Tutus

"KUFUFU NO_ *hic*_ FU! KU-_*hic*_ KUFUFUFU NO FU! Tsunayoshi-kun! Look at my masterpiece!"

Our dear Tunafish was currently horrified by the utter monstrosity Mukuro had currently unleashed onto the mansion. He struggled to keep a calm face as he turned to the smug- and slightly flushed- illusionist pineapple.

"Mukuro... Did you steal Kyoya's Vodka again?"

The currently drunk illusionist put his arm on the mafioso's shoulder with a mock sad and hurt expression. "_Noooooo~! __*hic*_ I would never do that, Tsunayoshi-kun!" He leaned in with a grin goofier than Iemitsu's. "I stole it _*hic*_ from the Monkey King._ *hic*"_

The Tuna Lord blanched. _Great_. Now he had to deal with The Lord of the Wierdos. (Tsuna, Tsuna, Tsuna- you have no room to speak~)

And I bet you all are wonder what horrible illusion was currently crippling anyone who came within a ten-foot pole's poking distance from it.

Why it was an illusion of Twilight. To be specific, _**certain scenes **_of Twilight.

Happening in the middle of the most busy room of the mansion.

This was why Mukuro was a 'Perverted Pineapple Herbivore' as dubbed by our dear Skylark-chan. And currently why said skylark was destroying everything that was within a ten foot radius and moved. If you looked closely he had a heavy blush on his cheeks it looked as if his brain was working on autopilot.

"_**HOLY SH*TWHATTHEF***?!**_" Screeched Hayato. Later he will testify that he did not sound like a sailor-mouthed little girl screaming.

Tsuna looked to where the sound came from and saw his dear Storm octopus freaking out while Takeshi was staring at the scene with wide eyes, a tilted head, and a small open mouthed smile that positively screamed (much like Hayato) '_BRAIN BROKE, BRB_'.

Now what made this little gathering really come together was Xanxus deciding to enter the room via a hole in the wall created by throwing a positively p*ssed Squalo through it.

The big bad man then assumed a position similar to a certain yakyuu-baka's upon seeing the illusion (_Pronounced: projection of a certain female pineapple's movies_). Yes, even the head tilt and broken-brain smile.

Reborn then came out of no where dressed in a tutu and snapped a photo of the Varia leader for later blackmail. Yes, a freakin' **_tutu. _**

Let's just say Mukuro was not allowed to have vodka again. **_EVER_**.

"Nufufufu. Mission successful~"

* * *

**Zera: I just wanna thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, and even just _read_ this craziness. I have over 1,000 views on this thing. I sh*t you not. Thank you so much, reader-samas! :D *passes out Internet hugs and cookies***


	5. New Years Party Madness

"**_WHAT IN THE SIX HELLS IS GOING ON HERE?!_**"

That girl- ahem, _manly- _scream came from none other than our favorite Tunafish. Yes, Tsunayoshi Sawada.

And he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Why? Three words.

_New. Years. Party. _

Hosted by Giotto the Awesome.

And there was vodka. _Lots_ of vodka. And Natsu found the Redbull _again_. Holy sh*t.

So far, Mukuro was in a minidress dancing on a table, Hibari was giggling- yes, _**giggling**_- like the drunk he was, Asari was swinging around a sword trying to hit Ryohei and Knuckle, and Gokudera was somehow on the chandelier singing about beans.

Oh, and apparently Yamamoto was an angry drunk while Alaude was an emotional one. It was quite disturbing to see the first Cloud hugging Daemon and crying about how Albird was going through a rebellious stage because he kept making a nest in Giotto's hair instead of sitting on his shoulder. It also made Tsuna make a mental note to hide all vodka in a secure place when he saw Yamamoto run outside, run into a tree, then cut down said tree for insulting him.

As the young Tuna was trying to wrap his brain around Dino acting like someone from a host club but failing with a new recruit, Giotto came and stood by him to observe his work.

"... Vodka?"

"... Yes please."

And so the Tuna and Mr. Primo joined the havoc. Mukuro was soon thrown out a window after an attempt of flirting with Tsuna ("_Get away from my cute grandson, Cross-dressing Pineapple Pervert!_").

And where were our dear Chrome and sadistic Spartan during all this? Why taping everyone's most embarrassing moment of course!

Lets just say that everyone will be needing brain bleach after they watch the video.

Oh, and everyone has a message for you before you go!

"One.. Two.. Three... _**HAPPY NEW YEARS!**_"


	6. PAPERWORK SUCKZ

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the air was slightly warm, and Hibird was singing.

Meanwhile, a certain Decimo was in his office battling his worst enemy yet. Worse than Byakuran, even.

And that enemy's name was...

**_PAPERWORK_**.

"**_Damn it!_**_!_ Why won't you die already!"

Tsuna slammed his hands on the desk. That was a bad idea because the stacks started to sway dangerously. And those stacks were half his height. The then started to tip over.

"... _Shit_."

Let's just say that the Guardians came in to find their beloved Tuna covered in paperwork. And an evil aura. It was as intense as a penguin rave party, and that was flippin' intense. All of a sudden, the Tunafish burst out from his paperwork like a flying fish!

"_Screw this!_ I'll burn it!"

The Clam boss then started to laugh evilly at his idea.

That is, until a certain female (_COUGHsadisticCOUGHCOUGH_) pineapple cleared her throat to gain his attention. Tsuna then went back to his usual, uke-ish self. Which caused everyone to sweatdrop.

Later that day, Enma came by and found Tsuna battling every boss's greatest enemy.

**_PAPERWORK_**.

Let's just say that he told him the secret to get rid of it quickly.

Later, Tsuna could be heard all throughout the mansion laughing evilly and shouting "_DIE, PAPERWORK, DIE! MUAHAHAHA! YES! DIE, YOU DAMN PAPER!_"

It was then that everyone agreed to _never_ leave our dear Tuna-chan in his office doing paperwork three days straight again. For both his sanity _and_ their own.


End file.
